Marriage was the topic of discussion this week; specifically the changes that come from getting married. I had honestly never really considered a lot of what we learned this week. There is so much stress that comes with marriage. I have never really had to share things in my life with anyone else. My only other sibling is a sister who is 5 years older than me, so I always had my own room, clothes, games, etc. Being on a mission probably prepared me a little for this massive transition that I will one day go through, but I learned this week that I am going to have to share EVERYTHING with my future wife. Money, vehicles, living space, the bed, etc. It's going to be weird and probably uncomfortable at times.
The thing that stuck out to me the most that wasn't specifically mentioned in class was the thought that couples sometimes make the mistake of not being 100% open and candid with each other with their concerns before the wedding. I feel as if the courting and engagement stages of a relationship are all rainbows and butterflies and it gets even better on the honeymoon. However, once the magic of being newlyweds wears off, the reality and stress of marriage kicks in with all the conflicts and concerns. If anything, I made a resolve to myself this week to be completely straight up and honest with my future fiancee/spouse in all things. I know it will be harder at first, but it will definitely make our marriage easier and make things go more smoothly as we transition to married life.
Another thing that really scared me was the idea of having a child once I'm married. I don't plan on having any kids until my wife and I are both graduated from college and out of Rexburg, but (as many LDS couples around here can probably tell me) things don't always work out the way we plan them. I learned this past week that marriage satisfaction rates drop with each birth of a child and then finally pan out after a point. Something that I'm going to do when my wife is pregnant to help decrease the stress on my marriage is to be there for her all the time. I know I'll have to work and whatnot, but when I'm home I'm going to be all hers for whatever she may need. And that wont change once she has the baby. I'm going to be as involved as possible in each and every pregnancy and childbirth in my future family. I know it's going to be really hard, but the hard work will pay off when it saves my future marriage and strengthens my family.
Saturday, February 20, 2016
Sixth post
Lesson 5 really got me thinking about dating and what it means to me. I think that ever since I completed my mission, I have fallen into this pattern of going on "casual dates" instead of actual planned, paid for, and paired off dates. I have always had the goal of getting married one day and starting a family of my own, but that goal seems further and further the way the more I think about how poor my dating life is.
The real problem may reside in the fact that I don't have too much of a desire to date. I know what I'm attracted to in females (and I certainly enjoy being around those kinds of ladies) but something about commitment and dating really turns me off to the idea of dating them.
We talked and read about finding people to date too. In some parts of the world (and even parts of the United States) dating options are rather limited. People can grow up in towns where they realistically only have a handful of people to choose from when it comes to dating. Here at BYU-I, that is definitely not the case. There are thousands of young, single adults here on campus and I know I should feel blessed to be in such an awesome dating environment. There truly is a plethora of women for me to "browse through" (if you will).
To be 100% honest, I think my fear of rejection is what really keeps me from asking girls out and dating. However, this past weeks lessons have really opened my eyes to the importance of dating. I am more committed to working on building intimacy in appropriate ways, especially while I'm blessed enough to be in such a great place to do so.
The real problem may reside in the fact that I don't have too much of a desire to date. I know what I'm attracted to in females (and I certainly enjoy being around those kinds of ladies) but something about commitment and dating really turns me off to the idea of dating them.
We talked and read about finding people to date too. In some parts of the world (and even parts of the United States) dating options are rather limited. People can grow up in towns where they realistically only have a handful of people to choose from when it comes to dating. Here at BYU-I, that is definitely not the case. There are thousands of young, single adults here on campus and I know I should feel blessed to be in such an awesome dating environment. There truly is a plethora of women for me to "browse through" (if you will).
To be 100% honest, I think my fear of rejection is what really keeps me from asking girls out and dating. However, this past weeks lessons have really opened my eyes to the importance of dating. I am more committed to working on building intimacy in appropriate ways, especially while I'm blessed enough to be in such a great place to do so.
Saturday, February 6, 2016
Fifth post
This week we discussed gender roles and homosexuality. It was eye opening to learn about same sex attraction and how early childhood experiences can affect gender attractions later in life. The video that we watched that had men who struggled with same sex attraction was very interesting. Most of the men had experienced something earlier in life (such as rape or molestation) that affected their psychology and sexual desires. There has always been and always will be an argument on whether or not homosexual desires is something that people are born with or something that they inherit later in life. According to the information presented in class, I would have to say that it appears as if it is an inherited life choice, some by conscious decision and others by subconscious thoughts and feelings. The morality of homosexuality is always up for debate, but the negative psychological and physical effects are not. It is not healthy to participate in a homosexual relationship and I personally believe that it will lead to nothing but heartache and personal anguish.
I really enjoyed our class discussion regarding gender roles and the views of society on gender. I personally agree with a lot of the societal differences between men and women and boys and girls. I think that boys tend to be tougher and less emotional than girls, and that we should recognize and respect that as a whole. Of course there are exceptions to this, but for the most part, I think this is truth. I completely disagree with the idea that we need to raise our boys more like our girls. That's absurd. Boys are different from girls in a plethora of ways and we shouldn't ignore that. The more we try to have total gender equality in all things, the more the lines of gender roles and responsibilities are going to be blurred and men and women are going to have increasing difficulty acting as such. I have very traditional and conservative viewpoints when it comes to this matter, but I am unapologetic in what I believe to be true.
I really enjoyed our class discussion regarding gender roles and the views of society on gender. I personally agree with a lot of the societal differences between men and women and boys and girls. I think that boys tend to be tougher and less emotional than girls, and that we should recognize and respect that as a whole. Of course there are exceptions to this, but for the most part, I think this is truth. I completely disagree with the idea that we need to raise our boys more like our girls. That's absurd. Boys are different from girls in a plethora of ways and we shouldn't ignore that. The more we try to have total gender equality in all things, the more the lines of gender roles and responsibilities are going to be blurred and men and women are going to have increasing difficulty acting as such. I have very traditional and conservative viewpoints when it comes to this matter, but I am unapologetic in what I believe to be true.
Fourth post
What really stood out to me this past week was our discussion on our pretend Mexican family. I was part of the example family and it seemed way more real to me that way. I personally have a lot of experience with Hispanic immigrants in the US since I served a Spanish speaking mission in Colorado Springs. What I learned most this week is that Hispanic immigrants have unimaginable struggles that they go through in order to make it to the US. It isn't as easy as I imagined it would be.
Serving my mission, I met many families who had made the made the trek over the border. They never let on how difficult it was. I only met a few families who had made the trip all at the same time. I met countless men who were working here in the US to send money home to their families in Mexico. It is a very hard thing that they are doing and I know that they are doing it to better their lives and the lives of their children. All legality aside, I sympathize with Hispanic immigrants and the trials that they have had to go through. I know that we are all Gods children and that they are loved unconditionally regardless of where they choose to live or how they choose to get there.
Serving my mission, I met many families who had made the made the trek over the border. They never let on how difficult it was. I only met a few families who had made the trip all at the same time. I met countless men who were working here in the US to send money home to their families in Mexico. It is a very hard thing that they are doing and I know that they are doing it to better their lives and the lives of their children. All legality aside, I sympathize with Hispanic immigrants and the trials that they have had to go through. I know that we are all Gods children and that they are loved unconditionally regardless of where they choose to live or how they choose to get there.
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