Tenth Post

In class we have been studying the importance of communication in the family, especially among spouses. I come from a family where my parent were terrible at communicating with each other, mostly because of my father. My mom communicated fine with her children, but my dad has always had issues expressing how he truly feels. He has been diagnosed as passive aggressive, so I don't think that helps. So having parents that have had communication issues my whole life has given me a broader perception on this topic than I believe most LDS students here at BYU-I would have.

Something that goes hand-in-hand with communication (and is even a form of communication in and of itself) is conflict, and not all conflict in a marriage is negative. Conflict arises whenever there are two people who have differing opinions or views and need to come to an agreement. Conflict can help couples communicate more effectively, but it can also tear couples apart if they do not handle it correctly. I believe that it is healthy for couples to have conflict within their marriages and that it is good for them to be open to different views from their partners. If someone decides to "take over" the relationship and makes all the decisions, it is going to lead to resentment and displeasure for the other member of the relationship. That kind of dynamic within a relationship can lead to what's called a power struggle. There tends to always be an "alpha male" in a couple, and when the other person isn't feeling sufficiently represented or expressed, they are going to want to change that. A power struggle doesn't go over so well for the person in charge and it can cause quite the riff within the relationship.

Having council within any relationship or group is a guideline from on high, as we learned from Elder M. Russell Ballard in his October 1993 General Conference address entitled "Strength in Counsel". There have been many many councils recorded all throughout biblical history, namely the council in Heaven with Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and other important figures. These councils were free and open discussion in which everyone's input was equally important. There continues to be councils within the church on every level (Quorums, Ward, Stake, Missions, etc). We can learn from these examples and have our own councils in our marriages and relationships to lead to more peace and happiness.