Thirteenth Post

Divorce and remarriage were the topics for this week. Having come from a dysfunctional family, I can relate to a lot of the issues that arise from divorce, but I have no way of knowing what it feels like to have parents leave each other and the affects of having a family split in two. I had quite a few friends growing up whose parents were divorced and, whether my friends would talk about it or not, I could see the effects that it had on them. We talked about in class how when a family is divided, it is tough on the children because it can feel like they sort of have to choose a parents side. It is also pretty tough to have to go through custody battles and not being with a parent when you want to be. It can also lead to having to go to different schools or church groups when you're with a different parent, which obviously leads to different social groups and friends. It can be very difficult for a child of any age to deal with all of this. It is also difficult for the parents to try and keep parenting together when they are divorced. Communication is not what it used to be and feelings can be pretty tense.

While divorce is not a pretty thing and should definitely be avoided, there are certainly times when it is appropriate and necessary (such as cases of infidelity or abuse). With that being said, I firmly believe that marriage can work between any two unselfish people who are more concerned with their partners wants and needs than their own. Divorce should be a last case resort instead of a go-to option when the going gets hard. I feel as if too many people give up on marriage nowadays instead of seeing the hard times through and growing stronger because of it. Brother Williams talked about how some country (I think in Asia) is trying this new thing where couples need to renew their wedding licenses or certificate or whatever after 2 years of marriage if they want to continue to be married, or else their marriage is nullified. That's crazy! With all that's going on in the world (gay marriage, the bachelor, etc), there sure is an assault on the sanctity of marriage these days.

The other half of this weeks lesson was about remarriage, which I support fully. While having a step-parent in the home can certainly be awkward at first and hard for the children to transition to, it will help the family in the long run to have two parents in the home again. We talked about how it can be hard for children to see the new husband or wife as a parent figure (especially when the children are older), but as long as the new parent handles the situation delicately and the biological parent handles the disciplining at first it can all transition rather smoothly with time. Whether by divorce or death, I sincerely hope to never have to remarry in my future. If the need does arise, I am confident that what I've learned from this class will help me.