This past week we discussed parenting and the many implications that can arise from it. What really jumped out at me at first were the many subsystems that parenting can create. Of course there is an immediate bond between the parents; that goes without saying. But there are also individual and unique subsystems that are born with each child. Parents and children have their own subsystems, children have subsystems between themselves, and even other parent figures such as grandparents or church leaders can have subsystems with children. For me, I had pretty weak subsystems within my family. My only sibling was my sister who was 5 years older than me and thought that I was the biggest loser in the world. I never had a good relationship with my dad and my mom has a lot of issues that makes it hard for us to connect. But I have seen this in many other families, how parenting creates subsystems.
Another thing that really got me thinking was how parenting styles really differ when two people from different backgrounds come together and create a baby. I was raised in a white southern household in the large city by super religious, traditional, conservative, and older parents. I'm sure the way that I was brought up was extremely different than how a person in a black northern household with a non-religious, single parent with liberal views was raised. If the two of us were to marry and have a child, we would have to find some serious middle ground on how we would parent our child(ren) together.
I definitely plan on having a family in the future. I like the idea of having a lot of kids so I will surely need to develop parenting skills. Hopefully my future wife will have had similar family values, because I am rather concerned that it will be difficult to come together as two separate individuals and parent as one.
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